Writing has been transformative for me.
It has coincided with intense breakthroughs in my mental and spiritual wellbeing,
as well as the growing pains that went along with them.
I truly value what I have to say and trust you can cherish it too.
I do not necessarily expect it to resonate with everybody
but I am trying to stand bare and vulnerable in what I present.
I have found power in it.


--Aryo <3

You called me a funny guy
Of course I joke
What else is there but a laugh
The laugh is the remainder
The excess
When there is something to say but no way to say it
And everything that can be said is nonsense
Laughter pisses all over what goes without saying
The presumption that everything that is said
Can and should count
That your words are magically bestowed with meaning, value and sense
And that meaning, value and sense can be created
And that meaning, value and sense will be returned
And that meaning, value and sense will accumulate

(But actually) No! Everything is baseless!
The laugh is the almost-nothing
It's not quite nothing
But it's definitely not something
It sucks up any hint of meaning
While at the same time, radiating in neon light the imperative that there must be meaning
That we submit ourselves to meaning
That I submit my will to your law
That I submit my body to the floor
I like to fall
To experience falling down
Experience a most fundamental force
One that is impossible to oppose
Except perhaps when we swim, kinda
Anyway, standing, laying, walking
These all give the illusion that we are in control
That we tell our body where to go
And how to hold itself
But when I fall over
I know better
I know I am not in control
Falling to Earth
Falling asleep
Falling for you
Out of control



Copyright 2020
Aryo Feldman